Wife threatening to sell her body

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for your advice. I am 31 years old and have two children from a previous relationship. My husband and I were living at my mother's house. The father of my children died in an accident, leaving nothing behind -- not even an insurance policy. My parents loved the children, so they have helped me care for them.

Two years after their father passed away, I got married. My husband knew about my children and how their father died. I was working at the time, and I told my mother I would take the children with me. My father said they were his only grandchildren, so we could share them.

After getting married, I left the children with my parents for six months. When I told my husband that I wanted the children to live with us, he objected. We argued and he claimed that he had never agreed during courtship that the children could live with us -- which was not true. If I had known he would not want the children to live with us, I would not have married him.

One Sunday, after having dinner with my husband, I got dressed to go for the children. When he asked where I was going, I told him. He did not say a word. When I arrived at my parents' house, the children were ready and they were happy to come home with me.

Now, the issue I face with my husband is his attitude toward my children. He shouts at them and sometimes slaps them if they do something wrong. I am not against discipline but I have asked him not to hit them. He says that is how he disciplines children, but his behaviour can be very harsh.

I am trying to send my children to prep school, which is very expensive. My husband refuses to help with the fees and has suggested that I take them out of prep school and send them to primary school. I refuse because I attended prep school and want my children to have the same experience.

I told my husband that, if he will not assist, I am willing to earn money by other means, even if that means having sex with another man. I used to help my husband pay the rent, which is $60,000 per month, but this month I did not give him any money because I put it aside for the children's school fees. I assist with food because the children eat a lot. My father also helps by buying us ground provisions, so we do not have to pay him.

If I had known my husband would be so mean to me, I would not have married him. We do not have children together, and he frequently asks when I am going to get pregnant for him. I am not interested in having a child with him.

My children love him very much, and they do not know what I am going through because we quarrel behind closed doors.

I know you might think I am a bad woman, but I am not. I just want to provide for my children, even if it means making sacrifices that are difficult to discuss.

P.

Dear P.,

I hope you will not carry out the threats you mentioned. I pray that you and your husband can have a calm discussion and that he will understand why you want your children to attend prep school.

However, it is important to recognise that prep school is expensive. While your parents were able to send you to prep school, it may not be financially possible for you and your husband to do the same. You may need to compromise and consider a good primary school instead. There are several reputable primary schools in Kingston that can provide a solid education.

It is also concerning that you threatened your husband with infidelity to obtain financial support. Please consider your words carefully. A healthy marriage requires compromise, and one spouse cannot always have their way.

I encourage you to seek peaceful solutions, prioritise the welfare of your children, and work together with your husband to manage your household responsibly.

Pastor